To Give Loan Or Not?
June 8, 2007 – 1:33 amA friend just sent me an urgent text message asking for a loan. I do not know if I should help him out because this is not the first time and I do not want to encourage him further. He has been borrowing one loan to cover the other and has been in this viscous cycle for some time already. We did advise him to change his spending habit but he did not listen perhaps because it was so easy for him to get loans against his string of credit cards.
Although interest rates are rising every week and it should be the right time to take out a loan as early as possible, it definitely is not the solution for my friend.
Did you read the article, Debt-a-Holics find insane reasons to borrow? Well, my friend is the classic case of a debt-a-holic! I am not sure that even if I were to give him a personal loan tomorrow, that it would be able to help him much. The debt hole he has dug for himself is too deep.
If I were to give him a loan, the only reason is that I hope that it would stop him from resorting to borrowing from loan sharks. It is a good thing that loan sharks are targeted by The Treasury, but not soon enough!
So I am actually in a dilemma and don’t know what is the right course of action for me to take.
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8 Responses to “To Give Loan Or Not?”
Two things here.
First, he’s asked by SMS. Maybe he’s a bit ashamed, or just not brave enough to ask to your face?
Second, be realistic and honest with yourself. If you give him the cash, it’s not a loan.
It’s a gift, because there’s no way you’ll get it back. And, you won’t be helping him at all - every single time someone says yes, the easier it gets for him to ask, and that’s a downhill slope all the way.
So, my advice is a definite no……sorry if that sounds a bit harsh, but sometimes, you have to be tough in order to help people to help themselves,
Steve
By Steve on Jun 8, 2007
Hi Steve,
Thanks so much for advising. I have in fact loaned once and this is the 2nd time. My policy is that if I were to help, I try not to give 100% of the amount that he asked. And once the money leaves my hands, I don’t expect to have it returned so that I don’t get disappointed.
It is always hard when people ask me for a loan. It’s hard to turn them down because I know how hard it is if one is financially tight because I have been in that situation before.
By Cyberpartygal on Jun 8, 2007
Well, maybe a partial loan is one answer, and, as long as you know that it is one money, I guess thats okay too!
Anyway, take it easy, whatever your decision, and keep in touch,
Steve
By Steve on Jun 8, 2007
Hi Steve,
Thanks for commenting! Keep in touch too!
By Cyberpartygal on Jun 9, 2007
Definitely don’t give your friend a loan. Bad, bad, bad idea. This is how friendships can end..either the person asking gets angry that you don’t lend, or this person never pays you back and the relationship is also strained. But better not to feed someone else’s debt habits. Isn’t that called “enabling”?
By Credit Diva on Jun 10, 2007
Hi Credit Diva!
Thanks for your input. You know what I am afraid of? That people who are desperate for some money may end up killing themselves. I have known of a couple of people who committed suicide.
Yes, they may be “weak” but once financial problem starts, family unity falls apart. It’s just horrible.
By Cyberpartygal on Jun 10, 2007
It would be easy to give loan, but getting the loan back is hard. Regarding suicide, it depend how bad your friend’s debt problem. It depends to his behavior also, if you saw him act strangely, you better keep an eye of him.
Doesn’t mean you have to give him loan, but maybe you can inform his family member and friends not to let him alone and keep monitoring his behavior
By zaki on Jun 11, 2007
Hi Zaki!
Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment.
It’s always very awkward to decline a loan but I did it! I’m NOT his ATM
Thanks for all your advice. I really appreciate them and it makes saying NO so much easier.
By Cyberpartygal on Jun 11, 2007